today i had an outburst at mum and i cried.
for a bit.
maybe cause i am too frustrated in sch.
feeling tired, exhausted.
not enough sleep everyday.
and yet nothing much is done.
i also feel so stupid in sch.
like everything also must ask.
everything also dunno how to do.
and im launched an attack.
and suddenly i turn defensive.
i get upset.
i lose control.
i know normally i can tahan one.
to not blow up.
wait for the storm to blow over.
but for some reason.
some part of me decided i cant take it anymore.
sometimes i start wondering.
if this course is what i really wanna do.
if im good enough to be here.
or maybe i should have gone to arts after all.
but im gonna persevere!
i chose this course.
not anyone but me.
so i have the duty to at least try and get
something out of this. :3
what doesnt kill me makes me stronger.
\(^^)/
met wan lin today for dinner.
nice break from muggging.
ICE CREAMU AGAIN!(:
アイスクリム！（：
cost me a bomb.
but i really enjoyed myself today.
once in a long while. long long while.
i miss you.
somehow i feel my heart twinching.
at every little thing.
every little thing that unintentionally
reminds me of u.
when i by accidentally scroll past
ur profile on fb.
when i see ur photos in my computer
while im deleting photos.
when i scroll past ur number in
my phone.
sometimes i have the temptation to
delete it. but ur number i have rmbred
by heart.
(so much for telling jeanette.fail.LOL.)
even the course im doing reminds
me of you.
i know i should listen to lalamon.
stop this alr.
stop msging.
stop doing stupid stuff to myself.
but i cant seem to help it.
if i could, i will stop it.
hate this lack of control over myself.
